Essence of Kakashi
by JoannaDanna
Summary: No one knows when exactly Shikamaru became a sex idol. It just happened, that’s all Konoha knew.Four Chapters: COMPLETE! rated Teen just to be safe
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: A. Shikamaru and Kakashi are cool. B. The author is cool. C. I am not cool. D. That means I don't own them, but I freely give Sasuke up to the highest bidder.

Essence of Kakashi

No one knows when exactly Shikamaru became a sex idol. It just happened, that's all Konoha knew. One day, Sasuke noticed it had become much easier to open his door in the mornings. Without the added pressure of a hundred ecstatically screaming girls, the door swung open quite easily. Only half of the usual amount of fangirls greeted him this morning, the next day only a third were there, then a fourth, then only ten, and finally there were no survivors from the horde that had once been.

Sasuke was confused, and wondered where they all could have gone, but he wasn't going to stoop to asking his tag-a-longs anything. So he grabbed his ninja gear and set out to meet his team for morning training.

Sakura was acting different too. She wasn't being annoying at all; there were no pestering questions or attempts to ask him out. Instead she had her whole mind focused on training. It was surprising how good a ninja Sakura actually was, when she wasn't distracted with trying to catch his attention. By the end of training Sasuke had worked up a sweat, something that never happened in training unless he was sparring with Kakashi-sensei.

Now Sasuke was very confused—first gobs of giggling girls stopped following him wherever he went, then Sakura acted as if she had lost all interest in him. What was going on?

Naruto jogged him out of his musings by shouting out, "Hey look! It's Shikamaru, he sure is running fast."

Before Sasuke could even look up, Shikamaru had him by the shoulders. "You have to take them back!" Sasuke was surprised by how frantic the usually uncaring genin appeared. Looking over his shoulder, Shikamaru saw something that caused his eyes to widen. "Gagh! Here they come. Women are so troublesome!" Then he was gone, running as fast as he possibly could. Soon the sound of stampeding feet and high-pitched voices could be heard. All of Sasuke's old fangirls were hot in pursuit of Shikamaru! Of course Naruto had to say something stupid.

"Wow. When did Shikamaru become so popular?" Sasuke slapped the baka upside the head, just 'cause, then went home.

Lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, Sasuke tried to make sense of things. Sasuke, a Uchiha, and therefore perfect, was alone. While Shikamaru, lazy and unambitious, was being mobbed by more girls than it seemed physically possible for Konoha to support. Something wasn't right, and Sasuke was going to figure out this mystery.

A/N: It took _forever _to finish this story. It must have been on my computer for three months at least! Any hoo, enough ranting from me--proceed to chapter two.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nothing changed over the next few weeks. Sasuke remained fangirlless and Shikamaru remained the number one interest of every girl in town. Even Sakura went gaga at the mere sight of the lazy genin. Sasuke was beginning to feel something he had hardly ever felt before in his entire life—jealousy. Of course he was in complete denial about it; a Uchiha had no reason to be jealous.

Sasuke was coming home late one night, once again without his usual retainer, after having completed a rather exhausting mission, and all he wanted to do was fall into bed. The only problem was that someone was already sitting on it.

"What are you doing here, Nara?"

Shikamaru stood up and indicated a picture on the wall, "Very nice, Uchiha." The picture bore many stab marks, and currently had a kunai in the eye. Sasuke had been using it as a target for knife throwing practice. It held a striking resemblance to one Nara Shikamaru.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke stubbornly repeated. Realizing that Sasuke wasn't going to be any less of a prick, Shikamaru got right to business.

"There's obviously something wrong."

"I'll say—your still in my room."

Shikamaru felt like slapping him. "Cut that out and just listen, idiot. Your making this far more troublesome than it needs to be." Rubbing his temples in frustration, Shikamaru sat down once more. Sasuke wanted to remain standing, arms folded, the picture of put upon dignity, but thought better of it. As much as he didn't like the pony-tailed boy, it was a known fact that Shikamaru was a genius when he wanted to be, so it was more than likely that he could figure out the mystery of the fickle fangirls.

Sasuke haughtily sat down on the corner of the bed. "Do you know why this is happening?" Shikamaru stopped rubbing his temples and glanced sideways at Sasuke.

"Of course not."

Sasuke was about to blow._ What the hell was the creep doing in his room if he didn't have an explanation? _

"But I do know who's behind it."

A/N: This chapter's short, but the next one is longer--promise!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Oi, sensei."

"Hn?"

Kakashi looked over his shoulder to see what Sasuke wanted, and that's when Shikamaru struck. Jumping out in front of the silver-haired teacher, Shika was able to capture him with his shadow jutsu.

Shikamaru smirked. "You have a bad habit of keeping your guard down when you're inside Konoha, did you know that?"

Sasuke had originally thought that this plan would never work, Kakashi was far too fast to be snagged by something so simple. But the genius genin was certain it would work, after hearing about how Naruto's simple prank with the door and the eraser had caught Kakashi when they first met.

The ominous sound of fangirl feet could be heard heading for their clearing. _Perfect,_ Shikamaru thought, _right on time—just like I planned_.

Shikamaru smirked a 'sometimes it's just plain cool to be smarter than everyone else' kind of smirk.

Kakashi was angry, but he couldn't move. Sasuke went to his teacher's side and removed the black mask covering the lower portion of his face.

Sasuke had to admit that he was vaguely curious as to what was under his sensei's mask: could he be scarred from torture, or was he horribly deformed, or maybe he was just plain ugly. But when Sasuke finally did get to see Kakashi's face, he was disappointed—Kakashi looked perfectly normal. It pissed him off.

All that wasted curiosity, and for _what_? Nothing! Kakashi-sensei had always been so careful to keep his face hidden; all that care was just vanity. Kakashi was just trying to be cool. It really pissed him off

"Kakashi-_senseiiiiiiiiiiiii_!" Sasuke was caught off guard by Sakura's scream. She had been standing by Shikamaru, fawning all over him, ever since he appeared out of the trees, but now she had turned doe-eyes to the silver-haired jounin. _What was going on?_

The stampeding sound had been getting louder the whole time, and now the girls had finally caught up. They came to a stop when they saw the object of their obsessive affections. "_Shika-kun_!" They all chorused. "What are you doing?" Their eyes traveled as one along Shikamaru's shadow to where it connected to the trapped jounin. But instead of praising him as they normally would have done, their eyes were riveted to Kakashi's face. There was a beat of silence—then they all began to squeal. Kakashi was mobbed by Sasuke and Shikamaru's former fangirls—the poor guy was in serious danger of being crushed to death.

Sasuke was wondrously confused. "Shikamaru."

"Hn?" He didn't take his eyes off of the silver-haired jounin for a moment.

"What's going on?"

Shika smirked again. "It should be obvious by now, dobe. Kakashi-sensei was the one controlling those girls all along; they were never obsessed with me or you of their own accord."

Sasuke blinked. _What was the fool talking about? Was he really suggesting that the girls had not ever liked him, that it was all because of some trick?_

"It is irrational to think that those girls could so quickly change obsessions; that goes against the very definition of a fanatic. So the only logical conclusion was that they were affected by some outside force. Considering that this is a ninja village, it was most likely to be caused by some kind of jutsu. But who could perform such a jutsu? Obviously it had to be a higher level ninja—jounin or chunin at the least." Shikamaru took a breath and continued with his explanation. "The girls also seemed to be overly obsessed with physical attributes (aka my long hair, your pale skin). The only jounin/chunin that hides his physical appearance and would have easy access to both of us was Hatake Kakashi."

Sasuke was stunned…what Shikamaru said actually made sense. It was a hard blow for his ego.

Kakashi was unable to move, and though being coved with cute girls planting kisses on you was usually something he'd consider a good thing, as they were pretty much all underage and about to squeeze the air from him completely, he desperately wanted the blasted genin controlling him to release the shadow jutsu immediately.

Shikamaru had been practicing perfecting his technique for most of his life, and had discovered new ways to manipulated it: such as releasing only certain parts of a victim at a time. He released Kakahi's head from the jutsu, so he was able to speak, which he didn't waste any time doing.

"Give me back my mask! Quick!" Sakura was grabbing onto Kakashi's vest, trying to get her face closer to his own. "Sasuke, Shikamaru, you are going to be in so much trouble when I get out of this!" Ino was running her hand up the silver-haired Jounin's back inside his shirt.

"Enough of your threats," Shikamaru stated smugly. "We'll give you your mask back under one condition."

"Anything!" Kakashi screamed when he felt someone nibbling on his ear, and did a double-take when he saw that it was Hguuya Hinata.

Sasuke grabbed up his teacher's mask, and tied it back into place, after brushing Tenten out of the way. Immediately all of the girls stopped what they were doing. They had expressions of shock on their faces and were unable to move. A bird call sounded somewhere in the forest. That snapped them out of their trance. The girls screamed and ran, all but Hinata, who fainted dead way, bright as a cherry.

"Explain your self, Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke's voice was soft and murderous. Kakashi's visible eye curved in what he knew to be a charming smile, but it clearly wasn't working, if the looks he was receiving from the two genins was any indication. Sighing, he decided the jig was up.

"Okay, okay, I'll explain." He really hadn't wanted to give up his secret, it was such a trump card. "Shikamaru was right, I'm the one who caused the girls to become obsessed with you, but he was wrong about it being a jutsu." Shikamaru was interested now. If it wasn't a jutsu, then what could it be? "I'm the heir of a blood-line limit, like the Hguuya Byakugan or the Uchiha Sharingan. Members of my clan are irresistible to the opposite sex."

Sasuke let out a snort. Kakashi gave him a look. "Why do you think I have always kept my face hidden? Why do you think every member of the Hatake clan wear masks?" It was true—no one in the entire village, besides those married in, could ever recall having seen the face of a Hatake. "Now, if you would be so kind, Shikamaru, I wish to be released from this confounded jutsu!"

Shikamaru ignored him. "That still doesn't explain why _we_ were being mobbed by every girl in the village."

"Sorry, but that's my secret."

_Jeez, how pig-headed could you be? _"If you don't tell us, I'll have Sasuke remove your mask again."

Kakashi cocked his eyebrow in a smirk. "Go ahead, there are no girls around."

"You are wrong about that, Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke pointed to Hinata, who was still lying, prone, on the path. Her hands were clinching and unclinching, and her brows were squinting—she was waking up.

The jounin's visible eyebrow shot up in terror. "Okay! Okay! I'll tell you!"

Sasuke folded his arms and sneered. "I'm listening."

He began to speak very fast, never taking his eyes off of the Hyuuga girl. "I fill an old perfume bottle that I found with mostly water and some sweat, then I sneak into your house, and spray the close hanging in your closet with it."

"…"

"…"

The boys weren't sure how exactly to respond. Though, Shikamaru finally said, "That's kinda disgusting."

Kakashi smiled, "But the results were really funny."

Sasuke just looked from one to the other, incredulous. Shouldn't Shikamaru be taking this more seriously? "You're both imbeciles! I'm going home."

Hinata woke up in enough time to watch Sasuke storm off. She looked at her surroundings for a minute, a little disoriented. Eventually, her eyes landed on Kakashi. The blood rushed to her face, and, with a scared 'eep,' Hinata fled.

With a shrug, Shikamaru released the justu restraining the jounin. "This was so troublesome…"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"—an-and then (fits of laughter) she said…(snort) and then she said…'So what?!'" "Haha—really, now?" "S'truth!"

They were all having a wondrously good time. Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, and even Gai were all hanging out in a little shop of some sort, which served hot drinks, to combat the chill from the outdoor rain. None of the regular patrons had managed to make it in, with the weather being the way it was, so the place was empty but for themselves and the shopkeeper. The jounins were too busy cracking jokes and gulping down their drinks to take much notice of the two genins stumbling into the shop, nearly soaked to the bone.

Pretending to make their way to an empty table, past the laughing group, one of the boys deftly untied Kakashi's mask in passing—his touch too light to be felt as he yanked the cloth away. Sasuke had waited along time to get his revenge, and he was going to enjoy it.

There was a collective gasp from the other jounins.

"What?" Kakshi gave his friends a blank look, not understanding what everyone's problem was…until he felt the air touching the bare skin of his face. His horror-filled eyes met the love-filled ones of Kurenai, "Uh-oh."

Flinging her arms around the copy-nin, the kunoichi pressed sloppy kisses to every centimeter of his exposed face.

Asuma rose from his seat, like an angry bull, face boiling red, and pulled Kurenai off of Kakashi, to deck the sliver-haired ninja with a meaty fist.

Unnoticed in the commotion, the two genins left the shop, returning to the rainy streets. Sasuke and Shikamaru smirked to one another, congradulating themselves on a job well done.

A/N: I may fill this story out latter, or maybe not Hope you enjoyed, and (possibly) reviewed.


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